It is always good to be with my brothers and sisters in Christ. I hope that what I say will be of spiritual benefit to you, but at best I just get the ball rolling.  We trust that the Light within each of us will do the rest.

I will read several bible verses.

Matthew 7:1-5  also in Luke 6:37-42

1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.

2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?  You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

James 4:12

But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?

Romans 2:1-3

1 You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.

ROMANS 14:13

13 Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another.

Why is it so difficult to not be judgmental?  For me, every time I get in judgment mode, my ego gets shots of jolly juice, endorphins and dopamine.  By pointing out what is wrong with you I am in effect saying look at what isn’t wrong with me.   Every one of my “put them downs” comes with a “put me up.”  Judgment has several children.  Anger is one.  Listen to someone making a judgment.  The tone is never upbeat.  Example:  Fred, you are a dimwitted jerk.” Nope. “Fred, you are a dimwitted jerk.” Accusation is another child of judgment which puts the judger on thin ice.  The Hebrew term saw tawn, Satan, is a generic noun meaning “accuser”.   But judgment feels so good and right.  Me to one of my students, “How many times have I told you? Do not leave dirty pipettes and graduated cylinders in the sink. Clean them and put them away.  I am not your mother.  What is your career goal?  Be 40 years old playing video games in your parent’s basement?”  Oh yeah.  Smacked you down and it feels good!

Pope Francis was asked about homosexuality. Near the end of his response he said, “But who am I to judge?”  Some catholic hierarchy went bonkers.  For them the pope’s job is to judge. 

There are circumstances when being judgmental is necessary. Your friend is becoming an out of control gossiper.  You need to talk to your friend but with tact.  Timothy 2:25 Be gentle when you correct others.  A teacher friend of mine told me that one day a 7^th grader named David said, “Mr. Cain you are the nicest mean teacher I have.”  I think that is the highest compliment a teacher can receive.  Mr. Cain asked David what he meant.  David said, “If I don’t get my assignments in, they are done poorly or I am wasting time in class you get on my case but I know you like me.” 

The three small towns in northern Pend Oreille County, Ione, Metaline and Metaline Falls, form the Selkirk School District.  In the 80’s there was a Boys Ranch in Ione.  The boys placed there had gotten into trouble and the Ranch was an alternative to juvenile detention.  During the day they went to the high school with the other students.  Most of the Boys Ranch students had lots of issues.  There was one boy that did not give a rip about school, frequently gave me lip, was disruptive, etc.  A total loser. I was talking to the principal about the boy.  The principal told me the boy came from an abusive home.  His father would knock him about, take him to the bathroom, stick his head in the toilet and flush it while he told his son that he was no better than a piece of shit.  A few months ago there was an article in the Spokesman Review.   One of the boys told his story and was initiating a law suit.  Turns out there was massive abuse going on at the ranch perpetrated by the staff.  That year at Selkirk I was always having to deal with major discipline issues.  I was angry most of the time.  At the end of the year I resigned.  Anger and judgement won, compassion lost.

DO NOT JUDGE.

In her March 5^th message Leann Williams talked about transgenerational trauma which is the psychological and physiological effects that the trauma experienced by people has on subsequent generations in that group.  WE DON’T KNOW A PERSON’S STORY SO WE HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE THEM.  THAT IS REALLY HARD. Our false self is always looking for ways to prop itself up, convince itself it is better than those people.

Genesis Ch 2:”16.Then Yahweh God gave the man this command, ‘You are free to eat of all the trees in the garden.  But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you are not to eat; for, the day you eat of that, you are doomed to die.'”

Before I talk about the verses I want to get the literal/contextual argument out of the way.

Literalist:  It happened exactly as the text says.  If it is not factual, then we may as well toss out the Bible. The Bible is inerrant.

Contexturalist.  It is a sacred myth. That does not mean it is a fairy tale.  Sacred myth means it is true always and everywhere.  It is about universal truth.  A rabbi said, “We don’t read stories in the Bible looking for belief.  We read them for meaning and we never let one interpretation end the conversation.  We see our scriptures as bottomless wells of meaning.  We’re looking for meaning to help us know who we are, why we are here, to help us be better people so we can heal the world.”  Obviously my bias is with the contexturalists.

The important question to ask is, “What is with the tree of the knowledge of good and evil?”  What does it mean?  What is it trying to tell us?  Let me read it again. “But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you are not to eat.” Not to eat!  If it said do not eat of the tree of lust and avarice or the tree of pride and gluttony, I get it. Aren’t we supposed to know what is good and evil?  Isn’t that why we learn the Ten Commandments? At first glance it doesn’t make any sense.  But it makes sense because what goes hand in hand with the knowledge of good and evil? Judgment.  Also notice that there is no gray area, it is either good or evil.  The verse is warning against dualistic thinking where everything is black or white.  Dualistic, black and white thinking is nice because it doesn’t take much thought.  Carl Jung said, “Thinking is difficult. That is why people judge.”

It is a warning against arrogance and absolute certitude, exactly what you find in bad religion. “We are God’s anointed, heaven bound. You will burn in hell.”  “We have the truth.  Your religion is false and of the devil.” In the long run only God knows what is really good or bad.  We don’t.  Judgment, judgment, judgment.

I am not endorsing relativism.  There are absolute rights and wrongs.  Just stop and think before you go down the “absolutes” path.

I know that there is some consternation in the Friends’ community regarding abortion.  A lot of judgment can be involved.  So to deescalate some tension before I say the following, I will preface my comments with a phrase one of Jon Maroni’s professors used: “Have you ever thought of it this way?”

Here is a totally dualistic, black/white statement.  It is done in the vein of judgment’s favorite child, self-righteous indignation, which is simply cruelty in disguise.

“Women that get abortions are baby killers.  It is murder and God will punish them in the fires of hell.”

I happen to be pro-life, but I will never judge a woman that gets an abortion.  The woman that drives up to the abortion clinic in her Mercedes to get an abortion because having a child will hamper her career aspirations is rare.  The majority of women that get abortions are poor. Imagine the minority single mom with a child.  She is working two jobs to just make ends meet.  She gets pregnant. She has no health insurance, no prenatal care, no maternity leave, no vacation and no day care option after delivery.   If she has the baby, she will miss work, lose her job.  She and her family will become homeless.  Putting the baby up for adoption is a long time consuming process and is not an option. 

Ironically, I am not only pro-life but pro-choice.  I am pro-choice in this sense:  provide women with access to day care, maternity leave, health care, contraception, day care and educational opportunities. Do that so women will have choices other than abortion.

Self-righteous indignation in the name of God is amazing! You can say and do the most cruel and evil things and never feel a twinge in your conscience because you are “doing it for God.”  Jesus was never upset with or judged the folks labeled sinners, the prostitutes, the tax collectors, the Samaritans.   Jesus got really upset with the self-righteous, judging Pharisees, the sin police.

Catholicism has gotten a lot wrong.  It got this right. Molly Monk: “Even though Catholicism is a religion with a strict and prominent hierarchy, it has a deep respect for individual reason and choice. When navigating complex moral questions, a person must first look to their own conscience to find the correct answer — not Church leaders.” This principle is known as the “primacy of conscience,” and the Catechism goes further to say, “A human being must always obey the certain judgment of his conscience.” This emphasis on personal reason is so important that when Pope Francis was recently accused of spreading heresy for valuing individual conscience over established church teaching, he doubled down and said, “The primacy of conscience must always be respected.” DO NOT JUDGE.

This talk is difficult because in it I am being judgmental about being judgmental. It is like the man who says, “I have so many outstanding virtues.  I am kind, generous and a certified genius.  My business sense is beyond compare.  No one can match my athletic abilities, but my most amazing virtue is my humility.

There is one exception to judging, the prophets.  They are pretty over the top with their criticism, but they are not doing it to puff themselves up and their wrath is not directed at individuals but the community.  They are insiders critiquing from the inside, their own clan.  They are not judging “those people” but “us people” and they risk punishment.  Jeremiah was mocked, humiliated, rejected, scorned and persecuted for speaking out.

Jung said, “If you hate something in someone else, then you can be sure that you have the same bad thing in yourself.”  That hurts.  He is talking about me.  One of my many faults is impatience.  Consequently I get on people’s cases that are impatient.  Me to Erin, “We need to get going now.”  Different situation.  Me to Erin, “What is your hurry?  Let me finish this first.”

I feel that my message has been a bit gloomy, so I would like to end on a positive note. What about the judgement of God? You can find verses to support the vision of a God that is harsh and stern. The “gotcha” God. You can find verses that support the vision of a God of compassion, mercy and restoration to A L L  —  ALL.

Psalm 145: 8-9. “The Lord is gracious and full of compassion, slow to anger and great in mercy. The Lord is good to all, and His tender mercies are over all His works.” I will end with that thought.  Thank you.

 QUERIES

In which areas of my life is the Light calling me to be less judgmental and more compassionate?

Are there things I look at in a dualistic manner?  Is it warranted?

What in other people yanks my chain?  Is it in me?

This message was given to Spokane Friends Meeting during Sunday worship by John Kinney on June 11, 2023.